So what do I do now? I have three weeks of hard work and exams, and then... complete freedom, and a little more work. I can consume so much time studying things I love, yet I never get to that point. Always occupied. I can go out and find ways to understand the harsh conditions of nature, yet I never go outside. Completely occupied. I can paint as well as famous artists with acrylic paints, cover an entire wall with beautiful work, yet I never do. Absolutely, horrifically occupied. When does this cycle end? I have a life to live, I don't want to spend another moment on this machine.